Hello Poison Control, it's us again...

When Julia was a baby, she never got into much. She didn't ingest things she shouldn't. She sat so sweet and played with what we gave her. She was in essence the perfect baby. It probably doesn't have anything to do with her being a girl or that we were first time (hawk-like) parents.

Jimmy is another story. He moves at morph speed to anything that may possibly be of danger to him or that he can wreck. If he can lift it, he will throw it. He's such a boy. He's a daredevil. He's got this little grin that he gives you when he knows he shouldn't be doing something. He really is so cute. This is why we don't leave him at the store or try to give him away.

Today's drama....Kurt is trying to paint the deck, the kids are playing nicely on the swing set. I notice that Jimmy's got the tell tale stain of diaper blow out. I take him in, change him and put on new clothes. I sit him down on the ground and think he is right behind me coming to the swing set. Next thing I know, Kurt's yelling - "Kate, he's in the paint. Kate, he's got something in his mouth. Kate, he's sitting on the wet painted deck." This all occurred in like 2.4 seconds. Seriously. In Kurt's defense, he was on the other side of the freshly painted deck...helpless to what was occurring. I couldn't get to him fast enough. Ugh. So he's got this brownish tan stuff all over his mouth, he's spitting it out. His shorts have paint on the backside. I grab the giant glass of ice water and start dousing his mouth with it. He's pissed, because not only does his mouth taste bad, I am practically drowning him with freezing water and scraping at his tongue with a random rag. Then I rip his freezing wet clothes off (because although I just changed him, I put him in some nicer clothes that were in the dirty clothes pile - it was late and he was only playing for another 20 minutes before bath & bed) and take them into the house to get the paint off of them while I call poison control. Of course in the face of panic, I can't think of the number...so I have to look it up. When Julia was a baby I had the number memorized, not because I ever called it, but because that is what good first time moms do. Now that I am mom of 2, I don't have time to remember those 7 numbers that start with 1-800. Anyway, I locate the number and speak with a nice lady giving her the information while scrubbing Jimmy's little Polo shorts (fortunately I paid $2 for them at a Mom2Mom Sale, but still, they are pretty nice). She asks me the usual questions and asks if I have wiped out his mouth. Ugh - who doesn't instinctively do this and wash it out? Anyway, he's going to be fine...keep him hydrated. Great - that means the little scammer gets juice box #2 for the day, because I know that he will shotgun it. Meanwhile, his sister looking pretty much the same from when i dressed her in the morning, takes 2 sips of her juice box and goes off playing nicely, asking me later if she can just have water. What a perfect kid! At least the poison control lady didn't have our file flagged from the last time we called with the make up eating incident that also occurred very similarly. Poison control is now programed into all of our phones, because i am pretty sure something else will happen.

Oh wait, I forgot to mention that Jimmy started to throw some rocks at the Corvette. Nice. If there is something that has been ingrained in my nieces and nephews, as well as Julia and the neighbor kids - it is to NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES COME IN CONTACT WITH THE CARS. Fortunately we only have the Corvette here now and the Nova is at Jimmy's (Kurt's brother). I couldn't take the stress of both of Kurt's "babies" getting marked. Little Jimmy I have a feeling may end up with some broken arms or a sore bottom if something bad happens.

So when DSS Calls you to find out what kind of parents we are, tell them he's just a boy doing boy stuff, giving his parents more gray hair than they already have. Seriously, I feel like some days i am losing the battle to keep him alive!